Favoritism Bought/Earned

Very often, one truly understands the meaning and the rationale behind a social phenomenon by experiencing it in ones life. Especially when the circumstances are amusing or awkward, they are usually a combination of the two.

Some similar happened to me when I went to a public sector bank today with my dad. The purpose of our visit was to obtain a stamped and signed bank statement (piece of cake, not). Since I’ve already mentioned that it was a public sector bank and a popular one at that, one would expect to spend about half a day just trying to get to the counter and once you’re there, suggest with as few words as possible that you are a) busy b) important.

No such thing happened in our case as my dad’s reputation preceded him, he had established his credentials over years by a) personifying both attributes b) making sure diwali & holi were not celebrated only with friends and family but also with best wishes of the best kind for bankers, officials, drivers and cleaners. Anybody who understands what it means to gift whisky and accept the appended responsibility that it conveys to those who obtain it.

Therefore, now when we were at the bank we could simply head to the other side of the counter where we would be asked to take a seat and offered chilled water in the politeness private banks only aspire/promise (yet to figure that one).

As we made our request another man stepped to the table. Even though his disposition did not suggest that he had the necessary attributes to be on this side of the counter, since he was there and talking to the executive who was supposed to reek of gifted blender’s pride, I’m sure he had at least one of the attributes. I just realize attribute b) important is more important than busy. But the following conversation did more to reinforce my doubts than to vindicate the presence of any of the attributes:

Unknown dude: Sir statement chahiye

Exec: Pass book istimaal karo,

Unknown dude: arre Sir, karva dijiye

Exec: nahi ho sakta bola na, jaiye ab, ek sec. ye bataiye , kis liye chahiye??? Koi loan lena hai

Unknown dude: Nahi Saab (as if taking a loan is a bloody crime) aapko patta hai sarkari daftar mein kaise hota (beat his balls, he’s standing in a sarkari daftar)

Exec: Passbook se kaam ho jayega

Unknown dude (in his mid 30s literally pleading): Saab pehli baar maang raha hoon, aaj se pehle kabhi nahi maangi….please karva dijiye…

Exec: (says nothing to him, turns to us) kitne mahine ki statement chahiye saab

Kuber Chopra: 3 months (Korrupt smile) “Uncle” (I met him for the first time) ek certificate bhi chahiye, aur thoda jaldi karwa denge to bahaut meharbaani hogi…

Exec: Vijender!! (the bank clerk) chopra saab ka statement aur certificate, 5 minute

The unknown dude just kept standing there while our work was done, hands were shaken, bye byes hollered. I have no clue if he got his statement.

Lessons learnt: Its not only about how expensive the whisky u gift is….

Favoritism is a fact of life, be on the right side of the counter

Learn from your dad, he always has a lesson or two to teach

Business as Usual

What just happened? What’s this buzz…places of work are not supposed to be so refreshingly lively… but hold on, the undertone, its scary…something’s wrong,,,forget it gotta wrap up a few tasks before lunch …sloppy deadlines, hate em, business as usual...

After all that transpired over the last few months it was evident that things at Sat(y)am were bad…really bad… but then it came, as a nonchalant forward,, “FW: Ramalinga raju’s resignation letter”. Big deal ! I thot as I often do, on receiving stupid forwards. Just another forward, even if he did resign, it must be, owing to a string of bad decisions over the past few months… acquiring Ma(y)tas cuz "sonny should shiny" was a bad idea..lets restore investor confidence.. lets resign…” well done! but my heart goes out to u man, it must hurt leaving something u built…”

K now lunch time, Akshai’s (friend in office) gone to another location, so will have lunch alone…In the cafeteria I notice the same buzz, this time only louder. In the distance, on the café’ TV a yellow trend line on CNBC, looks eerie. Its more like a yellow step down, the edge of a cliff with shadows of people in the foreground, its surreal. Its only when I take my food n get closer to the TV I realize its the movement of Sat(y)am stock, 80,78….65….33!!!!! 33!!!!....beat, shit I’m thinking wish all of us learnt our counting wrong and 33 actually means 333 and the bottom is still some distance or may be down is the real up… the heading reads “Sat(y)am Fraud”, I’m like what nonsensical bullshit…media can blow up anything..meaning anything….I haven read the “fwd” yet u see…

Get back to my desk after lunch, still that buzz with associates huddling around computers discussing stuff, techies turned financial experts, Dog knows why…
Neways, I’d discover the reason only a moment later. There is a near sudden halt on business, I haven received some much awaited mails…So I decide to read them forwards… “that forward…”
As I read, I sink, cuz with every lineof the letter, the last one hour is falling in place and everything else is falling apart (not really, but I like the effect)… I cant avoid thinking that only the last one hour is the truth, “Satya” everything else I’m hoping is a lie,,,,and well I’m still hoping, which is business as usual,,,

The next day in office is even worse, Business as usual has acquired a new meaning, no body knows what to work on wt to touch, wt to avoid,, so there is this mad show of support, organized by one of the several units at the company…meaning suddenly people rushing down the building, mostly taking steps…
Its always mind boggling to look at a sea of humanity, tho this was more like “downstream” of humanity… I joined the crowd, like I often do…I’ve never been in a crowd so big without any pushing and shoving, there was none. I guess that’s what education is about, its just "business as usual" climbing down stairs…when we reach the company compound downstairs everyone is painting their hands and imprinting them on these massive sheets as signatures of support for Sat(y)am, people singing and chanting the name of the company.. its crazy, but me, the only thing I’m thinking is,,, “there are so many people in this company, so many, I’ve never seen them, this building just covered them and there are so many other such buildings,,, its like when I was a kid and used to throw a paper or a cloth on ants, then I’d observe them crawl out..…” I couldn’t help but wonder, why so many people around the world get fooled again and again. I think its because reactions to adversity are typical. If I fooled you once, and I know well, how you would react anytime I want to fool you, I sure will again.
Neways, deep down looking and listening to the crowd, I also felt that this show of strength was shallow; it is a desperate attempt at saving themselves in their minds, to hold onto that comfort zone tat a cushy job gives u... It’s amazing the strength and courage a crowd can give those associating with it.… Crisis brings out the best and the worst in people….its true, one can see it…the big talk is worth nothing and men from boys are not separated by age or bands (Sat(y)am governs itself bandwise)…its true and its exciting to see it unfold even if it is unfortunate…. And there is nothing like business as usual, if u’re in business or out of it, u know its only “frequently unusual”.

Rugged little bullshit called- Ma Cause

Lack of commitment…its within u …we’re interested but not committed. Superhuman capabilities are demanded of men who want to excel ( yeah?), who want to be committed to a cause…Most of us are plain interested in one thing then another..
The attention span is shortening as I write…that might affect the length of this writing….so I push myself… with Eric Clapton playin in my head ‘let it grow’…
Love, hatred, bullshit (yeah, mostly)…
Our excuse fr not being committed is the lack of a cause or more foolishly the right fit…its isn a job we’re talking about fellow imbeciles, it’s a cause …they’re all around you, u wouldn need a project plan to get attached to them…you’ll need a heart, not even a kind heart, ask terrorists, they’re bloody good at beating us to it…
Whom do you wanna blame…Let me guess the government, the religious heads, Bush or GOD…GODs your easiest bet… ‘I am enraged by the blasts across the country’ but guess what ‘I also don have the balls to fight back’ …cuz ‘this ain my cause maite’…My Cause (read JOB) is to reduce the Time to market, Increase efficiency…and ‘basically’ (is that a word) send moronic forwards all day long and pretend that I work my ass off…wy, cuz I get paid ..naa! cuz this is Social Security Ver. X.Y… well well well,, guess wt my tertiary job description is : creating quadratiary jobs for the guys who sell cigarettes, juices, the one who delivers shit food and talks rude. My passion is going to the hippest club wit the shitiest music and scorn at the sight of rhythmic bare footed dancers at poor pious ceremonies on the street. But yes, I am still the ‘coolest’ (Cause 1.1.1.1: get a gun shoot the next person who says this word) because its ol relative and my world is u me and this other guy I know… The might of ignorance prevails and darkness shines thru the bright reflected light from my office building…
Welcome! u there…kill yourself..